Granpaw Harkins’ Picklin’ Secrets
Well now, sit yerself down, young’un. Ol’ Granpaw Harkins gonna learn ya how to pickle proper. Ain’t no rocket surgery, but there is a right way and a fool way — and I done seen both.
Back in my day, picklin’ warn’t just for showin’ off at the county fair. It was how we kept from starvin’ when the snow got knee-deep and the outhouse door froze shut. We didn’t have no fancy grocery store — heck, we were the grocery store.
Why We Pickle
See, when summer crops come in thicker than flies on molasses, ya gotta do somethin’ ‘fore it all goes bad. So, we jarred it up with salt and vinegar — keeps the good stuff good, and the bad stuff out. Them pickles’ll stay fresh all winter, long as you don’t eat ‘em all by Thanksgiving (lookin’ at you, cousin Earl).
We pickled dang near every vegetable that stood still long enough:
Cucumbers for dills.
Green beans for dilly beans (good with cornbread and a big ol’ chunk of fatback).
Cabbage for chow chow — that’s that spicy mountain relish that’ll wake ya up faster than a rooster sittin’ on a firecracker.
Beets, okra, green maters, and peppers — all fair game in the Harkins pantry.
Granpaw’s Step-by-Step Picklin’ Guide
Now listen close, ‘cause I don’t repeat myself unless there’s biscuits involved.
1. Wash them veggies — ain’t no one wantin’ to bite into somethin’ with yesterday’s dirt hangin’ on it.
2. Cut ‘em how ya like — whole, slices, spears, whatever tickles yer gizzard.
3. Toss in some flavor. Little dill, couple peppercorns, maybe a clove of garlic. One time Aunt Birdie dropped a red pepper in hers — near burned the whiskers off Uncle Clyde, but he kept eatin’ ‘em anyway.
4. Stuff ‘em in jars. Pack ‘em tighter than a coon in a log trap. Leave a bit o’ room at the top for breathin’ space.
5. Make yer brine. Mix vinegar, water, salt, and a spoon o’ sugar. Heat it up till it all melts together nice-like. Don’t use weak vinegar — get the kind that’ll curl yer nose hairs.
6. Pour that hot juice. Slow and steady now — we’re makin’ pickles, not soup.
7. Cool ‘em off and stash ‘em away. Once they cool, slap on them lids and stick ‘em in the icebox. Wait a couple days ‘fore eatin’. I know ya wanna try ‘em early, but patience makes ‘em purtier.
Granpaw’s Picklin’ Wisdom
Don’t pickle no sad vegetables. If it’s floppy or smells funny, give it to the pigs.
Bright means right. Good color = good crunch.
Roots and stems tell the truth. Still green and snappy? You’re golden.
Size counts. Little ones taste sweet, big ones bite back like a mule with a toothache
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